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Regret

Halfway There

Finally, I'm getting some release from this pain I've been in for days now! The medicines are continuing to kick this virus's ass, and I'm reaping the benefits. The sores are slowly beginning to heal. I actually peed today with NO pain. How incredible is that? I never thought that something so small could make me so thankful. It's amazing what we take for granted every day. For the past four days I have envied everyone that could wake up in the morning and go to the bathroom and feel relief of an empty bladder rather than anguish and fear of a stinging pain.

I've also told two people about it. Two of my managers at work know. One was told because I worked with her last night and my disappearing every 45 to 90 minutes needed an explanation. She also happens to be a friend of mine, so it was a bit easier telling her, and I had to tell somebody. I'm not good at not talking about myself. Then today, I worked with a different manager and the one from the previous night had given him the heads up that I'm having some "female" issues. Finally, about halfway through the night he straight up asked me what was going on, and I told him. I trust him. I don't think I'm going to tell many other people there that I work with simply because a lot of my coworkers are 16 year old kids or very immature 20 year old guys, but it's nice knowing that someone knows. I now have two people who I can go to about it, and that's a good thing.

I still haven't talked to the guy who I got it from. I'm seeing my ex tomorrow to give him his money, so I'm going to let him know just in case it came from him. I figure it's the least I can do. Well, maybe I won't. I'm almost positive it wasn't from him, and seeing as how we're not parting on the best of terms, I don't want to give him any leverage against me. But yeah, I have finals coming up in a week, so I think I'm going to wait until after that to talk to this guy. Anything to avoid some stress. I already have enough.

Alright, that's really all I got that's worthwhile to say. But, because I'm still bored, I leave you with this...


1. Flip to page 18, paragraph 4 in the book closest to you right now, what does it say?
The book is Montana 1948. It's actually quite good, I would highly recommend it. But anyway, it says, "We lived, you see, in a white two-story frame house right across the street from the courthouse, and the jail and my father's office were in the basement of the courthouse."


2. If you stretch out your left arm - as far as possible, what are you touching?
A box of club crackers. Yum.


3. What's the last program you watched on tv?
I caught a bit of Family Guy on break at work tonight.

4. Without looking, guess what time it is.
Maybe 1:45? Oh shit, it's only 12:52. Sweet!

5. Except the computer, what can you hear right now?
Jeffree Star. Yes, as in the Myspace celebrity transvestite. I adore his music.

6. When was the last time you were outside and what did you do?
I was outside getting out of my car to come into my house. It was freezing.

7. What are you wearing?
My DQ shirt from the 4th of July in 2004, and black comfy pants from Target.

8. Did you dream last night? If you did, what about?
If I did I do not recall it.

9. When was the last time you laughed?
At work. All night. I adore those kids.

10. What's on the walls, in the room you're in right now?
I bulletin board, a white board, a poster of Josh Groban, a mask, a plaque I received in choir my senior year, and a concert poster from Ribfest featuring Cowboy Mouth. I'll have to remember to write about that show sometime. It was a good one.

11. Have you seen anything strange lately?
I'm sure I have. I live in a large city and spend a lot of time downtown. I'm just not sure what I've seen.

12. What do you think about this meme?
It's something to do, therefore I like it.

13. What's the last film you saw?
I watched Saw. It was the second time I saw it and the acting was still horrible.

14. If you became a multimillionaire, what would you do with the money?
First thing I'd do would be to travel. Then I'd donate a shitload of money to AIDS research, then move to New York City and live in Manhattan.

15. Tell us something about yourself that most people don't know.
I have herpes. Although if you're reading this you already knew that, so that's sort of cheating. Uhm, I'm really shy. You would NEVER guess if you met me, but I'm really shy at first when I meet new people.

16. If you could change ONE THING in this world, without regarding politics or bad guilt - what would it be?
I would find a way to make everyone happy. If only just for a moment. Just so that even if they can't remain that happy, they still have the memory of it to hold onto so they know that it can get better.

17. Do you like dancing?
LOVE it no matter how stupid I look.

18. George Bush?
Mother Fucker. I hate the man.

19. What do you want your children’s names to be, girl/boy?
I'm not sure. For a girl, I'm leaning towards Marlene or Maureen. For a boy, Pascal, Erik, or Shawn.

20. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Most definitely. I want to be out of this country for good someday.

21. What do you want God to tell you, when you come to heaven?
I want him to tell me he's just a figment of millions of people's imaginations, but heaven is real and to come on in. Or maybe I want him to tell me that Earth was purgatory and I've finally made it. Or maybe that it was all a big practical joke.

Comments

Hey, I just wanted to say, it was a huge relief for me too when I could first pee and have no pain! I didn't realise either, how something so small could make me so thankful either! Did you get any tips? Like peeing in a bath?

Yeah I read that. I did that once and ohhh it was also virtually painless. But unfortunately I found that I never had that possibility since I was almost never home. I was also told to pour a cup of water over myself while peeing, but I haven't found need to try that yet. Well, I have, but sometimes you just bite your lip and hope for the best. Haha.
I've found the best way to go was using a spray bottle with just water in it. Spray it on a couple times before you go and that usually helps. Leaning forward as far as you can helped me too.
Leaning forward definitely helps. I'll have to try the spray bottle. Thanks for the advice!